Monday, January 26, 2009

Food for dogs

There's a fairly new restaurant on Sheppard and Birchmount thats been receiving some attention from the local Chinese papers. It's a Xinjiang restaurant, specializing in traditional lamb and beef dishes. Seeing how its winter, it was worth a try, for some lamb.

What a pathetic excuse for cuisine. F*cking dog food. This is a disgrace, especially if this donkey is trying to pass himself off as a purveyor of authentic Xinjiang food.

We ordered two bowls of their specialty, fresh made noodles in a beef broth, and one in a lamb broth. It says $4.99 on the menu, but we were informed by the waitress that on weekends, its $6.99. Ok. Doesn't say on the menu, but what choice do you have. I also ordered their bbq lamb skewers. Something safe right?

The soup was thin, lukewarm. Noodles were stuck together. While it claims to be a meat broth, I found a total of 3 thin slices of beef. Half a mouthful. The other one, a lamb broth, featured 1/4 inch long pieces of fat - the fat that you cut off and throw away. It was so pungent, it was the kind of stink that you keep tasting in your mouth.

Next, lamb skewers. This is usually street food, so they should be able to dress it up a little in a restaurant, right? Especially since they charge $1.99 per skewer. Anyways. It came out black, no unlike charcoal. The first bite was oily grease, the second bite was oily grease, and the third bite? What's the point? The pieces of "meat" were nothing more than gobs of fat, tendon, and grease - pieces that normally go into the organic waste bin. They tried to hide this garbage by loading it up with cumin, and some sort of curry because my mouth was burning. It was so spicy, so aromatic with the cumin that you couldn't taste anything else. That's the point, right? You perfume it, so it doesn't smell and taste like shit.

For two people, lunch cost $32. For 2 bowls of shit noodles and 6 skewers of even shittier lamb. Un-f*cking-believable. Watch out for this place. I want to know who's been writing these glowing reviews for this place, and how much it cost for the thumbs up. You think if I skewered them up, bathed them in oily cumin and spice, and sat them on an open fire, they'd taste as bad?

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