Saturday, August 15, 2009

G.I. Joe



You know, I had no idea G.I. stood for 'Government Issue'. I always thought it meant General Infantry. The things you learn from wikipedia.....

Went out to watch G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. This is a reboot of the franchise, and gives the setup to the G.I. Joe universe. All the reviews were fairly negative, but as in all things, critics are useless turds and should be stoned.

This is a entertaining movie. Suspend all your idea of what reality is, what the laws of physics are, and you'll really enjoy it. Action-packed, with enough eye-candy to keep you interested throughout. Nice length as well. Really awesome technology (mech suits that respond to your thoughts) and as you can see above, tight spandex. As I said, don't try to think about how feasible all of this is, just enjoy the action. In the G.I. Joe world, the laws of pysics don't apply. Characters step in and out of a speeding airplane as easily as you would step on an escalator.

The actors were acceptable. The girls were crazy hot, and the two ninjas were great, as was General Hawk. But Duke was a bit of a disappointment. As the emerging leader of the world's most elite unit, his character's brainpower is supposed to be as lethal as his muscles, but Tatum plays him like a mumbling dope. Stop trying to look pretty man. And the ending was weak. Having Destro basically grow a metal head? And Cobra Commander wearing this gigantic metal helmet? He looks like a f*cking metallic bobblehead.

But, as long as Rachel Nichols does the sequel (is there any doubt?), I will watch.

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