What the hell am I doing? I do think I'm getting particularly skilled at sabotaging myself. That's the only explanation, no? Inflicting damage on myself seems to be a recurring theme.
The Shanghainese have a colourful term for this brand of idiot. It translates roughly into 'pig-headed fool'. In reference to the imbecile who is continually, and willingly taken for a fool. I'm the pig-headed fool. But it's my fault - I'm sabotaging myself, yes? Yeah, not getting much sleep tonight.
Wine helps. So does talking with friends. Should have taken their advice, from the beginning. Is it too late, or is there still hope for this poor fool?
It's late night, I've had a rough day. I promise this will be the last moody, teen-angst-y post. Back to wine, full-time, tomorrow. Just had to get this out of my head. Strange shit happens when you're out on a limb - didn't help that my page view plummeted today. Back to wine, back to wine.....
Blogger's note, 1:02 PM, October 25, 2009:
Up from bed, and still feel a bit shitty. But, time moves on. Working on my wine today, checking up on my temporary cellar - always healthy for the mood.