Thursday, January 14, 2010

Work it into the hair

Gatsby

I try not to use a lot of hair products, because I'm not a g-bag, but being Chinese, my hair is coarse and straight and if I don't use anything, I begin looking remarkably like an effeminate friend of mine (let's call him Hoolio). So I use this stuff - Gatsby Styling Wax. It's a hard wax I found in Tokyo, that holds well and best of all, doesn't leave a shine. Because nothing proclaims your douchebaggery like having slick, hard, shiny spikes on your head.

But, dear reader, you must be asking yourself - if DF is such a Red, and regularly spouts anti-Jap sentiments, how can he possibly use and enjoy so many Japanese products?

I guess I'm just a man of many contradictions. After all, I have a cousin who's been pretty much swallowed whole by Tokyo, 3/4 of my wardrobe is Japanese, and all our major appliances and electronics at home (excluding fridge, stove, washer) were bought and shipped from Japan. I try to judge by merit, irrespective of all other factors. That's how I can use this hair wax and tell you that I like it, even though I still think the Japs are a heinous people.

But to toe the Party line, their wonderful grooming products don't change the fact that the Japs are a cruel, heartless people, who claim to be a free and democratic society but still have yet to take responsibility for wartime atrocities and crimes against humanity. And that's that.

DF

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