Friday, July 27, 2012

O death

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I've been having sleeping problems lately. Having trouble falling asleep, constantly waking up in the middle of the night . . . it's terrible. And it's starting to affect my mood, man. It does give me time to think though. I have these grandiose plans of what I want my life to look like at 30, but really, it's a free-for-all. THERE IS NO PLAN. But what am I saying, I always work better when I only have a general direction. It will all work itself out.

When you open a bottle, it loses all its value. That's the real truth about wine. And the great mystery, the great appeal of it all is that you never know what to expect when you taste that first glass. It may be as great as you expected; it may be tragic and damaged. But that's the beauty of wine, the part where you know nothing of what to expect. To look at it another way, what is a wine that you never open? Everyone has that one bottle, the ONE bottle that nothing ever seems important enough for, that no person seems worthy enough to taste. Does wine still have meaning if it is never tasted and drunk?

Hindu Buddhism teaches that eating food is the ultimate sacrifice. Once one has consumed another life-form, whether it be a vegetable or an animal, one has the obligation to try and live a life that is higher than that which was consumed. In other words, food serves to elevate one's being. It's almost silly for me to be writing about a religion and philosophy I almost know nothing about, but this whole consciousness they apply to food describes a simple, yet deeply meaningful truth. Everything you consume, whether it's food (or knowledge, or experience), should serve to enhance yourself as a human being. I'm reminded of what Paul Pontallier said, when describing French winemaking, that in every gesture, there is a margin of progress. So when we moan about how no occasion ever seems appropriate to open that special bottle of wine, think about what that wine can do for you. Yes, I may have appreciated a lot of the wines I drank 3 years ago a lot more if I drank them today, but would I have developed this appreciation without drinking those wines? Where we are now is simply a function of all the incremental steps we've taken.

A question, simple question. How do you impress a girl? What do you say, what do you do; it's all a big mystery, isn't it. A time when all your insecurities come out, because you can be all kinds of confident at work, in front of your friends, with strangers . . . but when it comes to that girl . . . THAT girl . . . how come we turn into a mess of indecisiveness and self-doubt? She's so pretty, she's so charming, OMG it has to be her. It has to be her.

Complete stream of consciousness thinking, thoughts as I try to lull myself to sleep. But straight truth - never claim to always be correct, but aim for truth . . . always speak the truth. Went out with a bunch of friends to watch The Dark Knight Rises last night. Wow. There are no other words to convey how epic this finale to Christopher Nolan's trilogy is. At once sentimental and emotional, eerie and completely terrifying. Nolan's a genius. I'm going to end all this babble with a song. The Appalachian dirge O Death sings of helplessness, despair, and ultimately, resignation to fate.

The old, the young, the rich or poor
All alike to me, you know
No wealth, no land, no silver no gold
Nothing satisfies me but your soul

DF

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