We are a product of the values and principles that were taught, instilled, or otherwise beaten into us by our parents. I was taught at a very young age that commitments, once made, can never be broken. Say what you mean, mean what you say. And so I'd like to think that I'm above all a responsible person. Sometimes I wish I could just stop caring. I say it all the time - I don't give a shit no more, zero fucks given, I'm going to go get mine. But why can't I do it? I don't even believe myself when I say it anymore, so you know what - the only motherfucker I care about is me, these obligations I've created in my head are meaningless, I'm done with trying to be responsible.
Staying true to oneself.
Right or wrong, you follow what your heart tells you and try to do your best. And my heart tells me that once I'm in Europe, once school starts, it'll all start making sense. The sacrifices I've had to make, the hardships I've put myself through for the last 18 months ... the pieces of the puzzle will all start coming together.
Blocks to chip.
From Cocktail Kingdom, silicone ice molds that make 2 inch by 2 inch blocks of ice. A bit big to fit into the glass elegantly - besides, I'd rather not have ice cubes in my daiquiris or gimlets. So I chip them (using a sharp pair of scissors as a pick) into my shaker. Just be careful of skewering the hand that's holding the ice. If you like a single big ice cube for your on the rocks drinks, larger glassware helps. But I don't have large (enough) glasses and I sure as shit am not going to go buy anymore, so a bit more effort is needed than simply dropping the ice in. I remove two of them from the mold, and they go into my Yarai mixing glass. Fill with water and stir quickly. What you're doing is melting off the outer layer which 1) cleans the ice, 2) reduces its size, and 3) improves its clarity. Then into the glass with a pair of tongs, awaiting to be anointed with the libation of your choice.
Chill your heart, numb it with ice - and go on and do what needs to be done.