Wednesday, January 20, 2016

head up, chin up

New year, new me. 

Or something like that. In desperate need of some new energy, a spark to keep me going. It has been difficult, this slump I've been mired in for a few months now - I won't lie, sometimes I have really bad days. Angry days. Resentful, bitter, fucking pissed days, but I've been told those are all poor (and unemployable) qualities to have. When you're on the outside looking in, what choice do you have but to follow the rules. Other people's rules.

Last year in Barcelona, a few days before I embarked on an epic 35 day trip through 5 countries, I had some time to wander around the city, experience my 2nd holiday season there. Spain does Christmas really well - lights are hung up across all the major streets, with coordinated designs. It's not all that cold and there's no snow, but there's certainly a feeling of celebration in the air. And the Spanish are really good at celebrating. Hm ... maybe some of that is in order? I don't want to mope, I don't want to be a whiny little bitch about it, but this is where we're at it. 

I'm going to India next week, to spend a week in Bangalore. I'll be there to celebrate my IESE teammate's wedding. Excited? Like you wouldn't imagine. Really looking forward to seeing some great friends again. I watched the movie 'Bridge of Spies' last week. One scene that stayed with me, historical accuracy aside, was when the East Germans were beginning construction of the Berlin Wall, and panicking families were escaping to the other side. I don't know if Toronto, or Canada for that matter, is for me. My gut tells me no ... that I need to look to the other side. That should be the hard part, that internal struggle. But so far, the struggle has been everywhere else. 

Onwards and upwards ... chin up!